Kiss Mommy Goodbye: London Calling!

Peter wasn’t wrong. The minute the people carrier dropped them at the private security desk two of the guards came for him. They demanded his name even though they were very well aware who he was then marched him off to a private room. Butch gripped Getz’s arm above the elbow, ‘Steady,’ he murmured. ‘We don’t want to miss the flight altogether.’ She took a deep breath and after a full five seconds she gave a reluctant nod. Getz adored Peter and was liable to take issue with anyone who treated him with less than respect. But Butch was pissed off with their attitude as well. He stepped forward into the metal detector frame and immediately the alarm went off.

‘Are you wearing anything metal?’ asked the security man.

‘Yes,’ he said.

‘Would you take it off?’

‘Certainly,’ said Butch and he casually pulled up his pants leg and before they could stop him he had slid off his false leg and tossed it onto the conveyor belt. He hopped forward but still the alarm went off.

‘Oh sorry,’ he said to the aghast faces now all gathering around. ‘I forgot.’ He rolled up his sleeve and did the same with his false arm. Only half of Butch now seemed to remain and the security staff didn’t want to touch him or stop him and so he hopped forward again and to their horror the alarm went off again.

‘Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!’ Butch waved his remaining arm at them all then wrapped it around his head and gave it a jerk and at the same time Getz made a clicking sound with her tongue as though it had come loose. The security staff looked as though they were about to faint at the idea of him removing his own head but then Butch sort of froze and gave his face an idiot slap. He reached for the chain around his neck and slung it into one of the plastic trays on the conveyor belt. This time to everybody’s great relief the alarm let him through and he gave them all a friendly smile and stood there balancing on his one leg as they fought to get his false limbs back to him…and right at the back, unnoticed, Shelley gave Kamal a nudge:

‘Give me a leg up Kammy,’ she indicated the electrical conduit pipe than ran above their heads right over the whole security set up. He baulked at first but he was so often her partner in crime that almost immediately he went down on one knee. Shelley stepped from his bent knee, to his shoulders and even his head before she could reach the pipe above her and she disappeared upwards way above the heads of everybody else. Most of the kids had seen her so they kept their heads studiously down but all of the security staff had been fixated on the amazing sight of Butch and his vanishing limbs.

The other children made their way through with no trouble and started checking the bags back onto the large trolley. Bobby who had very deliberately avoided seeing Shelly’s disappearing act was sending the bags through from the other side but that was a misnomer because she had a totally devoted young man doing absolutely all the work for her. Above their heads Shelly worked her way along the pipe hand over hand and foot over foot like a gecko and below them all the Webb family pretended she didn’t exist.